Consent is Relationship

Embodied consent is a relationship. Informed consent is a dialog. It is not something that happens to or for someone, it is something that is participated in, a dynamic relational process. It is not a signed consent form, nor is it someone saying they consent to something with their words.

Embodied consent is a relationship. Informed consent is a dialog. It is not something that happens to or for someone, it is something that is participated in, a dynamic relational process. It is not a signed consent form, nor is it someone saying they consent to something with their words.

Forms and answers to quantitative questions are neat and tidy. They fit nicely in a box that is contained and clean. But real consent is a moment to moment ongoing process. It is messy with mistakes and forgiveness and vulnerability for BOTH people in a consensual situation. Both people are responsible to the dynamic agreement and both have an obligation to be authentic and honest. Otherwise where is the consent? Con-Sent. Feeling together.

Real consent asks us to relate deeply and authentically with another, rather than distance and protect ourselves with a consent form, rote-question asking as part of a protocol or checklist, or a hyper-professionalized demeanor.

Clinical detachment is an impediment to genuine embodied consent. We may feel like if we have distance and detachment then we are safer and our clients are safer. But I think the opposite is true. The more we claim our humanity, the more we can be in our bodies as practitioners and encourage and model the same for our clients, the safer for us all.